Category Archives: 31 days

a psalm of loss

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See me here, O God.

Aching with true pain, my heart in darkness, my whole being clenched with this sorrow.

Is this not a mortal wound?

How long, O Lord? How long will I walk this road of grief?

When will You come?

Have mercy, O King, on Your servant, for I am weak and broken and have no power to stand.

My will is feeble and even my body has grown weary.

How is it, O Saviour, that You come not to destroy all evil, to rescue us from death and shadows?

Why must weeping overtake me, with no consolation? You are my hope, my Rescuer, yet I see no relief for my fractured soul.

Come near, O Father, and lift my head. Oh, that You would cradle me like a child, my shield from distress.

Yet I know You, Brother — You walk a path with me. Speak Your words to my heart; etch Your likeness into me.

How is it, O Companion, that You who rule all creation are with me?

How, that you are my breath, my heartbeat, my blood?

Even now, O Comforter, You remain. You, Spirit of God, will not depart from me.

You have made a home in me — o mystery!

Now make my home in You.

Though the world without be storms and fearsome memories, and my heart within me deeply rended, yet deeper still and ubiquitously, infinitely, You, O Life, have won the victory.

The heavens know it already and declare it while we are in shadow. You send a hint of it on the wind.

My God, I will wait all my days to see You.

grace on the wind

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I think God’s glory and grace are like a blooming tree in spring.

There’s a tree that’s the source of the palest pink petals, and of otherworldly scent, and everyone knows where all of it’s coming from. But then the petals fly away into the wind, fall to the ground, and cover sidewalks and cars, so that everything else looks like it might be growing those petals too. Everything else looks just a little bit similar to the tree because the petals cover them.

And I think we’re like the covered things. We get to share in God’s grace in this life – we breathe, we love, we give, because of this grace. And we get to share in God’s glory in this life – He made us in His image, and gave us some of His characteristics – passion, creativity, a sense of justice, anger, affection, joy. So sometimes, someone might look at you and think you resemble God, but it’s just because He’s put some of His grace and glory on you and into you.

Without those petals, you’d just be the sidewalk or the grass, and then nobody could mistake you for a cherry tree. Without the petals, I don’t think we actually be breathing right now.

What a sweet gift, to be clothed in grace, to resemble Christ in our lives, so we can show people the source of all this glory. It doesn’t come from or end with us. There’s a tree, from which comes all our life and hope.

Today I found my car sprinkled heavily with these little pink kisses, and when I opened the door, some flew inside, and when I drove, I could see them in the mirror, wafting off behind me to grace other drivers with whimsy and beauty. I smiled; I couldn’t help it. And maybe I could be a little like that – floating lightly through life to give others a glimpse, a bit of grace on the wind.

look up, soul

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It sounds silly but I’m starting to read Scripture looking for God, not for my next assignment. I’m trying to take myself out of the picture for a minute. I’ve been reading through Isaiah, which can confound me every time, but since I’ve been looking for God, I’ve seen so much in these chapters. I might not understand what’s happening in the prophecies and stories, but I have a clear picture of who God is and what He is like, and this leads me straight into prayer, which is really where I need to be.

So I thought I’d share a glimpse into what this looks like, in the event that it is at all helpful or insightful for you. I’ve written a conversation that I had with God one day. He’s in bold italics, and I’m in regular type.

…………..

Lord, what did you wake me up to do today?

Trust me.

How do I trust you?

Believe what I say about Myself.

[What I found in Isaiah 26: 

source of salvation

source of peace

everlasting

immovable

trustworthy

all-powerful

just

righteous

majestic

loving

passionate

completer of our works

the only living God

glorified

source of life and resurrection

wrathful

Then I thought about myself again.]

Am I any of those? Even “loving” and “passionate” make me question if I really am.

These properties belong to God alone. Soul, hear and listen and learn – why tremble at what life brings when your God is the source of salvation? What shall you fear? Where else will you go? Be still, my heart, and know that He is God. He will neither abandon nor condemn you. But He will raise you to new life every new day. Will you not give over your fears, your wounds, your despair?

Will you trust Me?

…………..

See, I didn’t get very far. He said the same thing at the beginning and the end of the conversation. But He was patient, wasn’t He? He gave me exactly what I needed: more of Himself. To see Him. I didn’t need a next action; I needed another glimpse of Him.

So often, we want answers, direction, clarity. So often, God chooses to give us just what we need, instead.

#lookup