on seeing myself

This is something I wrote nearly a year ago. I just found it again. And still, it just fits.

Today I have realized. I am not quite who I want to be. Today is less about career and future-focus. It’s more about the present and what I want more of right now.

I want to be someone who talks to God and listens to Him. I want to know Him deeply and invest in that relationship daily, moment-ly.

I want to simplify living, not taking on too much or making lists too long. Not taking in too much.

I want to give of myself freely and hold onto things lightly with open hands.

Life is not about a reputation. But I want to be known as one who lives richly because of content, not because of matter. As someone who sits at the feet of Jesus in adoration, and believes that’s enough. I want to be known for it because that means it’s that obvious.

I want to take myself less seriously and walk in confidence in my identity. I want to revel in my weakness because it shows off God’s strength. And I want to learn to improve and grow.

I want to start every day reminding myself that God’s glory is the Thing.

If I do nothing else. If I fail at every turn, every career attempt. If I lose in the human race for gain and glory. If I just suck in general. Let me do this. Let me thrive on His mercy and go after the one needful thing.¹

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To gaze upon the beauty of the Lord.²

1 … Luke 10:42

2 … Psalm 27:4

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